Confession...

Today I read your blog..the 1 u said about ur friend,but I noe exactly who are you saying...Is just like the story between us...

You see...I'm sorry,I'm really sorry...I hope I have the courage to tell you in face,that I am sorry,but I couldn't do it...I lied,because I hate to see you cry,I hate to admit myself that I am lying to you..I lied because I don wan to hurt you anymore...I lied , because I donnoe who I am...

I wish,that we never met before..that we never fell in love...though we share the happy and wonderful time togehter,but if I have knew it will turn out this way,I swear,and I am sure...I won't ever wanna love you...I don wanna hurt a good gal like you...You know, you deserve everything..everyone...who is better than me,coz I am not more than a freaking jerk,an asshole,a thrash,a faggot...I really hope,I can turn the time back...back to the time when I was still a nice young boy who did not know you...

I still remember all the promises I make to you,I do..really...I hope I did not make those promise,just wanna let u noe,I hate to see a nice girl like you sad or cry,so sometimes,I just make those promise,just to see you smile...

I know that I hurt you so much,that you also hope that we have never met...How good it is...If we can travel back in time...undo what we have done,do what we ought to do....

I wish..I can still call u baby for the last time...and the last sentence will be..."baby,I am sorry..."

Life sucks

Life sucks...after all...it still sucks...is not wat it supposed to be,but it just happened...I am sorry...to all my friends...Pls understand my decision...i miss u all...seriously,inside my heart,you all are the best buddies...thx for being my friend...Now I am all alone...in this room...shedding tears...I donnoe wat will happen in the future..but I have no hope...

I miss the laughter of u all...miss ur style...but the fact is I cant c it..I cant be there buddies...I miss the time we can yum cha and play DOTA,but it wil be v hard in the future...I am the only son in my family,I have to pay some responsibility for the family..I have to ake care of my family feeling,my family worries...to some,I am an useless guy,tat's how it looks like...I did not wan to explain it...just think watever make u happy...Is my destiny...to be like tis..for the rest of my life....

Germany!!!Here I come!!!

WOW!!!I passed my DSH,A-Level,and English..and got my ass to be on the plane to Germany on 3rd of January 2009...I am purely lucky man..I mean I am not that good,but thank God...I prayed every night..and I have been doing good stuff...LOL...I guess wat ppl say is correct...If u do good stuff,u will get rewarded,but is just the matter of time...

Haha..actually,the best part is not about getting the result,is about my coursemate and my friends having a wild party...a really wild 1 after getting the result at Bar Celona..haha..man,they are way cooler than me than other clubbers....we got special guest too...if u all noe them Weng Kong and Helen (not the real name again).....lame....haha...

Anyway,I hope to get pictures frm my friends asap..and then I can post them,to show how happy and how wild we are...cheers friends...keep the clubbing spirit burning..Lastly,"Live to Club"....CLUBING FOR LIFE!!!

1000

haha...finally...1000 ppl visit my blog...lol
congrats to myself...haha
though is not tat good compare to others,but I am proud of myself...
my blog had die sometime ago...
u c,when something die,is very hard to revive...still trying v hard to revive it and keep it going...

DSH exam on the corner,stressful again...may God bless me..just hope to pass...

I never have a chance to say bye

Man....is just some of these days..tat i miss you...i necer have a chance to say bye,though i have the chance,bye bye seems the hardest thing for me to say to u..fuck it la....i never say how much i love u...the very last time i c u.i never tell u..i thought u gona make it...u looked into my eyes..i want to say something,but i just cant say anything...i am sorry...u noe,i am sorry...............................

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I update my blog...Every1 think my blog is dead now,no more updates,no more crap,no more shit,and I stop thinking?Well,the fact is no,I have been quite busy recently,stressful maybe...My A-Level will be out tomorrow,wat will be my destiny?its seems like my hands are shaking when I think of it...will I be able to fly?Will I be able to face my dad smilling and say I made u proud?or will he be dissapointed with me?All the things and ppl around me are giving me a lot of pressure..u noe when ur parents tells the relatives,my son going Germany next year,but actually the result not out yet...I seriously hope I can pass..and can have happy days...

Why do people study so hard for?Sometimes I really wonder...Life should be about happiness right?But it seems studying have only bring us misery and not happiness...I am doing my German intensive course now,though I felt that I ma improving,but the damm freaking hard test still make me worry....

I closed my eyes,prayed every nite,will my prayer be listen?How many friends out there will actually pray for me?How many so caleed "buddy" will pray for u?In fact,how many ppl will care wat u write in a blog,they mayb don even care to visit ur blog...

Blogging is not a way to make one famous,like Kennysia or wat..for me,is just a place I can talk to...sometimes,u noe....ppl like me don hv ppl to talk to...how do I express my sadness?

Friends will only be there to share ur happiness,but most of them wont even bother to share ur sadness...Girlfriend?I just cant express myself..wat more to my family,I don wan them to think I am sad...

After sometime hiding my sadness...I realised I forgot the way to show my sadness,is very hard to make me cry now compare to last time...time passed,fast and slow,ppl gone,by will or not,my heart,not under my control anymore....blogging,my way of talking to ppl...

Another Sad Song...who just remind me of you...

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Ya best friend ya baby
Ya man or ya lady
Put ya hand way up high
We will never say bye

Mamas daddys sisters brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift ya head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face

Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I
Wish I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world
To see your face (bye)
And be right here next to you (bye)
But it's like you're gone too soon (bye)
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye

And you never got a chance
To see how good I done
And you never got to see me
Back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could spend
The holidays together

I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world
To see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do
Is say bye bye

Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye bye bye bye bye
Bye bye